So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Randomize
