That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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