Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
