I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
