Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
