so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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