I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
