I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize