Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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