I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize