I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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