good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize