I would go down on you faster than GM stock
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
