...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
