how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
