It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We have so much sex to catch up on
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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