2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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