Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
