You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
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Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
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she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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