i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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