Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
