kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
