I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
