Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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