What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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