some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize