I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....