And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.