Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
