remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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