i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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