I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
