Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
ok first of all what the fuck
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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