More tranny stories later!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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