If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize