I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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