Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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