So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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