Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
