i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
