Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize