Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
