I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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