it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have aggressive nipples.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
