I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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