I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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