But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
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Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
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Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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