VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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