PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
