He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
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I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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