Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
