i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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