is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize