ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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