I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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