I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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