id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
