oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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