You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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