Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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